These past couple of weeks I have found myself experiencing emotional whiplash.
David and I went on vacation to Sedona, AZ. This to me is such a beautiful place! The wide vistas with the red rocks are awe inspiring. The energy is so warm and so welcoming. Each time I visit, I feel like I am coming home. We had a wonderful stay.
Then the news arrived of the shooting in Buffalo, followed by the shooting in Uvalde. The senselessness of it all. How can this be? How can this happen? How can this be in a country that prides itself on being the greatest in the world? If we can’t take care of our people, and especially of our little ones. Our government is dysfunctional. Why, after all these years have the laws not changed? Marching or petitions haven’t been effective. There is such a sense of powerlessness that arises from this.
My heart just drops into my gut, my whole body feels the grief that rises up through my chest, my throat, my tongue…
And yet, in a week from now my daughter is getting married! I see her beautiful face, beaming with love and excitement! And my heart opens up with joy for her, for the upcoming gathering of family and friends who are coming from far and wide to celebrate…
And I am trying not to feel guilty about this. But to feel comfort that despite all the pain there is joy, too.
It feels like I am walking a small path between the both. I am not freely skipping along that wide road, but I am finding a way of being with it.
I have noticed more tension in my body, so I actively monitor my posture. Sitting back in my chair brings my shoulders back and allows them to rest reduces the tension. I even bring my chin back a little, releasing the tension in my jaw, and my spine becomes more aligned.
Breath is what is bringing me back in the present, grounding me in my body. Right here, right now, life is good.
Life is good.
From here, I can feel and be with whatever emotion comes through. Allowing myself to feel it, not be swept away, but finding my grounding again through my breath. Returning to find that space of Being in the world.
With the intention to let me be just a little more kind, today. Both to others and myself.
By actively extending that kindness my eternal hope is that it ripples out and ultimately changes the world. I hope you join me.